L. Ron Hubbard* Brand
E-Meter Home Scientology Netti-web
e-Appliance
HELLO HELLO LADIES AND SERIAL DATE
RAPISTS!
To day I am offering
quite a special product of SCIENTIFIC
merit!
DESCRIPTION of DOOM
and HEARSAY
You are bidding on one (1)
L. Ron Bubbard* Brand Home
Scientology E-meter pseudo-appliance.
You can use this device
for all the myriad of things that one would normally do with
any other garden variety E-meter. To prove it, imagine in your
Thetan filled mind for just one
second a use for an E-meter.
It can do that.
THERE IS NOTHING
XENU CAN DO TO YOU THAT
THIS E-METER WILL NOT PROTECT YOU FROM!
Unlike normal E-meters
this one does not require a wall plug to power it, this model
runs purely on the hopes and dreams of the naïve young and the
blood of innocents.
That’s right folks: it’s MOBILE.
To the untrained eye this
SPECIAL SCIENTIFIC SCIENTOLOGICAL SCIENTASTIC device may look
like an empty card board box, however you will quickly learn
its true utility by reading the COMPREHENSIVE instruction
“manual” that I include with
it.
NOW WE HAVE REACHED
THE TESTIMONIAL PORTION OF THIS AUCTION. THE FOLLOWING QUOTES ARE
REAL AND ALMOST CERTAINLY ATTRIBUTED TO THIS SCIENTIFIC
MADE IN AMERICA
PRODUCT.
“I used to be a fat,
disgusting slob addicted to Cheetos,
but after using this product I am now infected with polio and
addicted to swarthy women.
However, I am now a Nobel-lauerate and I am told I am capable of
tremendous feats of strength.”
-Me
“This joke is already
going on too long and so clichéd that I doubt anyone is still
reading.”
-Someone
intelligent
“This product fails on
every level in clearing Thetans from
your brain, but as a card board box
it succeeds like an Asian at a spelling
bee.”
-Paul Wolfowitz
NOW WE HAVE REACHED
THE PORTION OF THIS AUCTION WHERE I PUT UP A PICTURE OF A
BLACK BABY!
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
EVERYONE LOVES GOSSIP AND GOSSIP
RELATED FOOD STUFFS! HERE ARE SOME CELEBRITIES THAT MAY
OR MAY
NOT HAVE PURCHASED ONE OF THESE
FROM ME IN THE HAZY PAST! TO PROTECT THEIR IDENTITY I
HAVE OMITTED THEIR NAMES!
SO AS YOU CAN CLEARY SEE, THIS PRODUCT MAY OR MAY
NOT BE QUITE POPULAR AMONG THE RICH AND FAMOUS. IF YOU
WANT TO BE RICH AND FAMOUS YOU WILL PROBABLY NEED ONE
TOO.
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
LEGAL STUFF: I am not
a member of the Church of Scientology or the Guild of Elves or
the Lollipop Glee, and I make no representations
otherwise. The use of the word "Scientology" is
definitely an infringement on their trademark similar to me
saying the word "McDonalds" and "Kleenex." However, I
cannot find anything in the law that says it is illegal for me
to sell a religious object. No Christian group can
trademark the cross, so the Scientologist Trenchcoat Mafia
Church of Baby Killing cannot copyright the
E-meter.
I
will ship this item to anywhere in the US or Canada for the
flat fee of $5. Do not try to dispute shipping with me,
this is the fee, if you don't like it don't
bid.
*The corpse of L. Ron Hubbard has in no way endorsed
this product. This is obvious because he is dead and
can't possibly endorse a product FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE.
Plus, he is likely in hell where his skull is the drinking
gourd of Satan and quite uninterested in endorsing
products. I AM CONFIDENT THAT IF HE WAS ALIVE HE WOULD
OR WOULD NOT ENDORSE THIS PRODUCT.
GOOD LUCK AND GOOD BIDDING, IMAGINE A THETAN FREE
WORLD LIVE IT!
)
This seller, ultradzan, prefers PayPal.
