No Fear/Big Dogs Shirts

Why you annoy me:

• Your clothes have the most annoying catch phrases ever.  “2^nd Place is the First Loser.”  WHOA DUDE!  Scathing commentary from the fat kid with the No Fear shirt!
• No one can tell what clique you are trying to market to.  Are Rednecks supposed to wear you?  What about High School Athletes?  Extreme sports aficionados?  Middle school toughs?  Nobody can seem to give me a universal answer.
• You were the precursor to the whole x-treme marketing fad.  Why?  Because some marketing dipshit saw his dipshit son wearing a shirt that said, “If you can’t take the heat don’t run with the Big Dogs” and thought, “Wow, kids today have an edge!  Let me combine skateboarding with Mountain Dew and one of these catch phrases and I’m set.”
• Despite trying to present a tough image, I’ve never seen anyone wearing a Big Dog shirt who was a real shitkicker.
• You are extremely popular among tourists from the Northeast and Midwest.   As everyone knows, tourists dress like total idiots, and little is as annoying as a 45 year old man in shorts wearing a Big Dog Shirt while his 12 year old son has a No Fear shirt and a fanny pack.  Is that stuff cool up north? 

Possible mitigating factors:

·         You are like a beacon of bad-taste.  If I enter a crowded room, I don’t need to wonder who in the room the stupid tour-idiots are.  Saves me a lot of time.

·         The fact that I am confused about which clique is supposed to wear the shirts tells me that the people actually wearing the shirts are just as confused about which clique they are in.  That means they are notoriously insecure, since they all fear that someone will blow up their spot about their inner confusion.

·         Not as irredeemably annoying as Guy Harvey shirts.

Contact me.