Semi Trucks 

 Why you annoy me:

• You ruin traffic.  You can’t keep up with the cars so everything slows down around you.  I estimate that if it wasn’t for semi-trucks my commute would be 15 minutes less per day.  That’s over an hour a week.  So basically, trucks are costing me an hours salary every week.
• You are inefficient.  Trains are a much smarter method of interstate commerce.  Semis should be used for local transport only.
• You are the cause of a disproportionate amount of highway accidents.
• You caused the term ‘lot lizard’ to enter our vocabulary.
• You are driven by truckers.  Need I say more?
• Your custom paint jobs and chrome work is ridiculous.  It makes riced out cars look relevant and useful.  How shameful.
• It’s only a matter of time until X to the Z Xzibit pimps out some semi-truck.  My soul will die a little bit that day.

 Possible mitigating factors:

• Trucks use cb radios for communications which is gnarly and grizzled.
• Your drivers keep such high brow places like Cafe Risque and Café Erotica in business.  As well as trucker showers.  I know we all can remember a time when a trucker shower was the savior of the day, right?