"Hopeless" Romantics

Why you annoy me:

• I’ve never heard anyone refer to anyone else as a “hopeless romantic,” it is always a self-applied label.  Self-applying labels is in and of itself annoying, but when the label is “hopeless romantic” it’s just completely unacceptable.
• There is no such thing.  People who claim to be hopeless romantics are actually hopelessly naïve.  They say they are "in love with the idea of love."  WRONG.  Half of these people are in love with the fictional notions they have created in their minds which do not exist in reality.   The other half…
• …are sketchy guys who say they are hopeless romantics because they think it will make girls like them more.  Also, it is a great defense mechanism.    Need to rationalize why you got rejected by some girl?  Just say you are a hopeless romantic and she wasn’t!  It’s so easy!  Admitting that you are a coward and probably afraid of girls is way too hard; much easier then just to convince yourself that you are a “romantic” and to complain about how you are the last of a dying breed… along with the thousands of others who say the exact same shit.
• You listen to awful music.
• You watch awful movies.
• You believe “shady guys” are your number one adversary.  News flash hopeless romantics: if you are a guy, you are shady.  If you are a girl, you are so hopelessly naïve that every guy you meet will seem shady.
• You have no idea what you actually want.  The plot of whatever romantic comedy you have seen most recently will not ever be your life, nor is it even realistic to think about.  Ask a hopeless romantic what they actually want and you’ll some whimsical crap answer.  The real answer is, “someone to pay attention to me despite how pathetic I am” or “a guy who will go out with me a second time after he realizes that I am a crazy commitment freak who has already planned my wedding and named my future kids with him, 15 minutes after we met.”
• You write absolutely fucking awful poetry.

 Possible mitigating factors:

• No one takes you seriously, thank God.  The girls will have their dreams shattered so much that eventually they will get realistic and adopt a better attitude towards life.  The guys realize that no one gives a damn and their genetic desire to reproduce will somehow overcome their douche bag desire to be idiots.
• People who actually were romantics in the classical sense in the days of yore would laugh at you rather than empathize with you.
• You don’t actually hurt anyone, unless they read your poetry.

Contact me.