Old People in College Classes

Why you annoy me:

• You think you are better than normal college students.  You think you have all this valuable life experience and that you know so much more than your younger peers.  You don’t.  If your life experience was so much more valuable you wouldn’t be at the same level as an 18 year old when you are 38. 
• If anyone in the class is going to “answer” a professor’s rhetorical question, it will be you.
• You are never well dressed and clean; invariably you are a slob.  If you were highly motivated and successful you wouldn’t be 38 years old and an undergrad.
• Rarely are you a business, or sciences major.  Almost always you are a history or poli-sci major.  Here’s why:  you turned 38.  You are unmarried and have a crappy job.  You do, however, watch the History Channel all day, read Harry Turtledove novels and love arguing about which WW2 tank was better on the internet all day.  Your big plan is to get a history degree since you enjoy it so much, and there you are.
• Your opinions are usually incredibly unfounded, since your main source of information about the world has been 24 hour cable news channels and the History Channel.  Oh, and your vaunted life experiences.
• You believe yourself to be well respected, but in actuality the professors think you are a moron and your classmates can’t stand you.

 Possible mitigating factors:

• Ever so rarely a professor will actually break down one of your opinions and make you look like an idiot in hilarious fashion.
• Once you adjust to the fact that real history isn’t just arguing about tanks and memorizing battle death totals, you actually seem to get decent grades.
• You make kids happy when they think, “well I know my life isn’t perfect, but I’m at least 20 years ahead of this guy.”
• You are so sloppy and creepy that no college girl would date you, thank God.

Contact me.