People Who Attend Movie Premieres in Costume

Why you annoy me:

• I’ve never seen a cool person dress up for a movie premier.  Now that I think about it, I’ve never seen a person I’d even talk to dress up in character at a movie theater.
• I don’t get it.  What’s the fun part of dressing up like so?  What’s the motivation?  Are you hoping people complement you?  I’m stumped.  And when I don’t understand something, it annoys me. 
• Also when I don’t understand something I make hasty generalizations about it.  For instance, I’m going to say that people who dress up for movies are doing it so that they can be part of something, since most of them have never done anything meaningful in their lives.  Plus they also like childish things like collecting toy lightsabers.
• You are so embarrassing no normal person would be seen in public with you.  Doubt me?  When was the last time you saw a dude in a Gandalf costume attending a movie with a plain clothes dressed companion?  Fucking never.
• You make your mom cry when sees you dressed up.  And you crush your dad’s soul when he sees you with your elf ears on.

 Possible mitigating factors:

• You aren’t (usually) full time cosplayers.  That is quite the saving grace, because cosplayers aren’t merely just annoying, they move directly to my “groups of people I would liquidate if I took over the Earth” list.  On a personal note, I was hanging out for a while with an uber-cute chick from my Spanish class, then one day I found out she was a cosplayer.  The feeling I got was akin to finding out she had an STD or that she was a former porn star whose specialty was interracial gangbangs.
• You won’t be reproducing, so I don’t have to worry about seeing babies dressed up in costumes at movies.

Contact me.