Ciara

Why you annoy me:

• Ciara is, without a doubt, the least talented person who currently is a successful musician.  She is so exceptionally untalented that it should annoy any reasonable person to know that she probably has a lot of money.
• Ciara has a vocal range that makes Big Bird quite jealous.
• Ciara dresses like Storm from the X-Men movies.
• Ciara is supposedly dating highly annoying rapper Bow Wow.
• People actually buy her albums.  Want to know how many stupid people there are in America?  Go to Billboard and see how much she has sold.  There are at least that many total idiots.
• Did you know Ciara has released more than one song?  I was shocked to realize those seemingly identical tunes were actually different songs and not remixes of the original.

 Possible mitigating factors:

• Ciara is in Missy Elliot’s lesbian harem.  That’s respectable.
• She doesn’t rap about being tough or thugged out, which is good.  Rap chicks like Da Brat who think they are tough and rap about it are absurd.
• Can anyone envision a post-apocalyptic horror world in which her career lasts more than 3 albums?  I can’t.  Well, not without killing myself.

Contact me.