People Who Pay With Checks

Why you annoy me:

• Personal checks are horribly out of date.  The only time to ever write a check is to pay your rent or car payment.  Period.  If you write a check for anything else, you are either ignorant or an asshole.
• People who write checks are rude.  Writing a check takes 10 times the amount of time that any other method of payment takes.  There is nothing more awful than seeing some dumb fucker ahead of you in a long line at a store paying with a check.  That person deserves to be strangled.  It's just fucking rude, it shows you have absolutely no consideration for the people behind you in line or their time.
• It's arrogant.  Not only don't you value other peoples' time, but the fact you choose to progress with convoluted payment methods anyway shows that you are in fact claiming to be better than everyone else.  This is exactly like douche-faces who wear their collar popped: it is a simple way of saying, "I incorrectly believe myself to be better and more important than those around me."
• Check writers are predominantly old women, a demographic filled up with ignorant people.
• Writing a check is essentially an admission of defeat.  It says, "I give up on moving along with society; I'm going to stay here and let the world pass me by."  Since this is your attitude you are no longer deserving of respect or even common courtesy.  To be frank, we normal humans should treat you like second class citizens and treat you with nothing that could be construed as fairness.

 Possible mitigating factors:

• There are still two legitimate uses for checks, as I mentioned above.  Since those are the major expenditures of your life (if you are living an honest lifestyle) checks still have a reason for continued existence.
• You can use the 'memo' tablet portion of the check to not-so-subtly insult people or institutions.

Contact me.