Bono

Why you annoy me:

• You make bland pop music which appeals to 30 year olds with no taste.
• You have an annoying messiah complex.
• You think your music somehow “helps people.”  It doesn’t.
• You claim to be anti-corporate/ pro-third world, but you will endorse any crappy product people pay you to.
• You claim to be anti-corporate but you do whatever the execs at your record label tell you to do.
• Like Eddie Vedder you claim to be anti-corporate.  Unlike Eddie Vedder you still do whatever MTV tells you to do.
• You hang out with someone named “The Edge.”  That’s a worse nickname than Sting.
• Someone actually suggested your name to head up the World Bank, yet you have never had any economic or financial education or experience. 
• Someone actually suggested your name to be nominated for a Nobel Peace prize.  You winning that would be the greatest injustice ever.
• You wear sun-glasses in-doors and at night.

 Possible mitigating factors:

• Most people aren’t fooled by you and realize you are an idiot.
• You can write a decent pop song from time to time.
• Relative to The Edge, being called Bono isn’t so bad.
• Haven’t done a fast food commercial yet.  If you have and I don’t know it, erase this one from the record.
• Actually less annoying than contemporary Sting.  As an aside, the reason I didn’t do Sting was I figured its cliché to make fun of Sting.

Three years later:  Bono is still an annoying fucker.  Nothing that I found annoying about him three years ago has been resolved or made better.  In many cases it's worse.  Even worse is we are about a year or two away from a new U2 album which is going to start all this shit over again. 

Verdict: Just as annoying.

Contact me.