Long time reader, first time writer. I would like to respond to your all-call for Creepy McLurkster stories. I once received a random instant message from this genetic dumpster inviting me to meet up with him in a northeastern city. Since I’m generally a nice person and willing to reacquaint myself with people of my past, I agreed to do so. The night in tale also happened to be a reunion with many of my college friends, most of whom were female.

What I thought would be a meeting over a couple drinks turned out to be a painfully long evening in which Mr. Lurkster would not leave. He was the proverbial gum stuck to my shoe; a human leech who claimed he was visiting friends in a random city, but clearly, was not. Not only that, but he made sexually explicit advances to my lady-friends that were uncalled for. They asked me to ask him to leave. Quickly I had to change my definition of Mr. Lurkster from "A friend" to "A guy who graduated with me" out of sheer embarrassment. It took forever to shake him, but we ditched him eventually.