Yes, you probably annoy me.
Email #3:
Garrett
From:
Garret Elkins
To:
danielschmitz@gmail.com
Subject: even one more thing
You think it's cool to hang out at "cyber
dragon" and play fucking Magic? ok yeah so who's the loser? Cause everyone
knows that playing card games is FUCKING COOL!! God damn I wish I could be
like you. My fucking dream. HAHAHA FUCK YOU
garrett
_____________________
Wow! You got me for
something I never denied!
When I was 16 I was a
professional Magic the Gathering player which earned me thousands of dollars in
cash and scholarships and a few days a week I went to a gaming store to
practice. I'm not ashamed of that at all. That was 7 years ago and I
was a kid, so what? I don't regret my youth, which was spent earning
scholarships and cash for playing cards, working part time, succeeding in school
and spending long days at the beach skimboarding. Sounds like fun to me.
What did you do then which
was so cool? Oh, right, you played ultra-fucking-rad music with your
Christian youth group band. Man, I sure misspent my youth! I wish I
had followed the fast track to awesomeness and been exactly like you!
You can stop sending me email now, I've sufficiently
ruined you in front of the world. I don't steal candy from babies and I
will no longer do anything similarly simple, like mince words with you.
If I may use an audio clip to sum up how I've
trashed you: listen
Just for anyone else reading
this, that isn't my voice. It is internet humorist "Livestock" Boruff.
Credit where it is due.
Contact me.
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