Dzan's Guide to Female Collegiate Halloween Costumes

1. All costume names are prefaced by "sexy". This means no matter what your legs should be
exposed, preferable in fishnets, knee highs, or exposed garter straps.

2. Pick an animal or profession. Mouse, nurse, maid, cat, rabbit, police officer all work well. For
animals add a cute nose thing and ears. For professions, wear the most revealing non-sensical
version of that profession's clothes; accessories are a must, like hand cuffs or feather duster.

3. For maximum effect, choose something that is normally not sexy, or even borderline offensive
and turn it "sexy" as per step one. Some examples would be, "Sexy Nun," "Sexy Nazi Female
Officer," "sexy elephant," or even "sexy cafeteria lady" complete with hairnet and disposable
gloves.

4.  Go drink warm beer in crowded parties.  Nothing is sexier than a girl with trashy make up on sweating profusely while drinking Natty Ice.  Play your cards right and you might wind up with the generically costumed Pimp/Pirate/Gangsta guy of your dreams!

Sucess Stories:

1.  Lila Breese followed my aforementioned guide and reports to me that she is quite satisfied with the results.