Dzan's Guide to Not Annoying Me

Every week that goes by I say, "Wow that is really annoying."  To which someone responds, "Well, why don't you add that to your site?"  Good question.  Now here is the answer: most things only annoy me for one reason and thus there is no way to write a non-contrived update about it.  That doesn't mean those things should escape the notice of the general population! 

This is a frequently updated list of people, things, and companies that annoy me and a short description of why.

ViewSonic Corporation:  Outstanding product quality with unmatched customer service.  By unmatched I mean, unmatched because no one else is that bad.  2 months for a simple RMA?  Die.

Mr. Phipps's Pretzel Chips: The worst name ever for a snack product.  Who the fuck is Mr. Phipps?

People who make away messages or AIM profiles with Asian languages:  No one is impressed, and frankly I'm embarrassed for you.

Amazon.com:  Why do you hide your customer service telephone number?  Don't you stand behind your product?

EBay:  EBay is like a giant, disgusting flea market, except online.

Cable Television: Why do I have to pay for channels I don't watch?

Jon Stewart:  We can all stop jerking off over him anytime now. 

Iran:  I'm no fan of American foreign policy, but for the love of God you make it hard for me to defend you rhetorically.  Just ease up with the tough talk.

People Who Complain About MTV:  What?  Did making fun of Hot Topic get too cliché for you?  Better make fun of MTV!  How about being against something that isn't already universally reviled?

MSNBC:  Way to go.

People Who Have Over Three Marriages:  Give up.  You obviously have severe personality flaws that you will never overcome, stop trying to find a happiness you don't deserve.

Gift Cards:  I'd prefer cash.

Water slides:  Just kidding, water slides rule.

People Who Speak Pidgin English:  Congrats you speak an evolutionary backward language that is on the same level as what Cro-Magnons spoke 40,000 years ago.  That would be like being proud of your mastery of fire.  Woohoo!  You are a regular Homo Erectus!

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