Panera

Why you annoy me:

• Your food sucks.  Anyone who says otherwise is a thundering moron with highly suspect taste.
• Let's go down the list: mediocre bread, ok bagels, awful soup, awful sandwiches and shitty salads.  Someone is going to have to explain to me what is so fucking great about this place that makes it worth eating at.
• The people who work at Panera seem to be a lot dumber than other food service industry people, including Arby's employees.
• My guess is that their success is based upon the cultivation of an elitist image that sells well with old rich ladies with no jobs.  While pedestrian fuck faces (read: you and me) may eat their sandwiches at delis, and may get their coffee at Dunkin Doughnuts, the pop collar crowd is elite enough to eat at Panera.  Yes, their salmon pants, Acura MDXes and popped collars entitle them to buy overpriced frozen sandwiches that taste like shit.  That sure is something to be proud of.
• Something about it is just marketed to women.  I've never heard any guy say, "man I can't wait to eat some Panera for lunch today," but I have heard many girls say it.  What about it appeals to females?  Are women that bad at discerning what makes food good or bad?  That can't be, since there is no shortage of fat bitches around and if they know one thing, it's food and if they know a second thing it's the layout of K-Mart.
• If you step back and take a good, long look at it: Panera is completely worthless and forgettable.

 Possible mitigating factors:

• The manager of Panera came by one day and gave free bagels- their only truely decent food- and they weren't bad.  Decent food for free is OK.
• Panera cannot be doing well financially.  The problem with a restaurant whose success hinges on image alone will eventually falter when inevitably a more elitist and more repugnant place opens nearby, such as a Starbucks.  As we all know, wealthy trendfucks are notoriously fickle and their current fascination with Panera will be superceded eventually.
• Panera just makes Moe's look better and better.  Moe's is exactly how high end fast food should be run, Panera is the opposite.