Atari

Why you annoy me:

• You don’t actually exist.  Atari is hilarious.  Their only asset is their name.  They make no products, they sell nothing, they offer no services.  Their entire revenue source is SELLING THEIR NAME AND LOGO TO OTHER COMPANIES TO STAMP ON THEIR PRODUCTS IN ORDER TO GIVE NAME RECOGNITION TO UTTER GARBAGE!
• Games with the Atari logo on them send me a clear message: this game probably sucks ass, because the pin heads who made it felt so insecure about it that they had to pay a non-existent whore of a company to put their logo on it.
• Some people actually are influenced to buy a game or not based on whether it has the Atari logo.  That means there is a group of people somewhere out there who think, “The Atari name implies quality.”  For their safety, let’s hide the box cutters and flammable material from them.
• Atari must have some deal whereby anything they put their seal on has to have the lowest level of packaging quality known to man.  Putting a cd in a jewel case would be too much to ask of this corporate titan, the most they can afford is a paper sleeve.  I feel so insult when I open a box and see a paper sleeve.  Imagine buying a piece of fine jewelry and it coming in a Cracker Jack box.
• Let’s also get another thing straight, any nostalgia you feel for Atari from the 70’s/80’s needs to go.  Atari games flat out sucked and still suck.  Games from the NES are still highly playable and enjoyable, and they are only a few years younger than Atari games.  Yet, there is not a single Atari game worth playing or even fondly remembering.
• People wear annoying shirts with Atari logos on them which they bought from Urban Outfitters thinking it’s retro or ironic or something.  Nope, just stupid.

 Possible mitigating factors:

• I presume that the perceived value of the Atari name is dwindling and will become less and less utilized.  Then you will be gone and I will have won again.
• As soon as the Atari logo stops appearing on stuff, a superfluous Sega logo will take its place, I have no doubt.
• Atari will go down in a history as an example of a company which did literally everything wrong. 
• No one I respect likes Atari.  It’s refreshing not to have to wonder that about people.